Former MP Lim Hwee Hua posts up fake news on Facebook page
And no one notices… 58 comments later…
Trolling done by Joey Tan
Some time back, we posted an article from fake news site, The Onion, on our Facebook page titled “Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term”. After getting some circulation, the article finally reached recently retired Aljunied MP, Lim Hwee Hua.
And she posted it up on her Facebook page.
To give her the benefit of doubt, she may have known that it was a spoof and posted it up to test the reactions of netizens.
Or not.
But what’s funny is the angry debate that ensued. 58 comments and some trolling later, still, no one’s noticed the spoof.
Nicely done Obama fans.
Nicely done Jaro Gee. Man who seems to know alot about American politics but is clueless about The Onion.
So this guy hates fake views, fakers, and liars. BUT DOESN’T KNOW IT’S FAKE NEWS??? Oh good god…..
Let’s see what happens when we make things a little more obvious. I’m the first dude, borrowing Shihan’s account.
Ok, failed. Let’s try again…
Let’s make things more obvious by lifting a fake quote directly from the article.
WAH LAO!!!!!! STILL DON’T GET IT???
Finally, a hint of enlightenment.
And at the 59th comment, finally, light dawns on the trolls.
Hello Kitty’s boyfriend, Dear Daniel, is also a little girl, not a cat
Second round of shock waves emanating across the globe.
Following the shocking revelation that Hello Kitty is in fact not a cat but a little girl, as clarified by its creator Sanrio, Hello Kitty fans around the planet were in for another shock.
It has just been announced that Hello Kitty’s supposed boyfriend Dear Daniel, is also not a cat, but is actually also a little girl.
A press statement issued by Hello Kitty’s creator read: “He’s a cartoon character. He is a little girl. He is a friend. But he is not a cat. He’s never depicted on all fours. He walks and sits like a two-legged creature.”
Dear Daniel’s real name is Daniel Starr, a very effeminate name, which was all along a clue that he is a girl.
Dear Daniel also has a pet of his own and the pet is a hamster.
This has raised the ire of some segments of society who want more clarity as to the gender and species of other cartoon characters such as Doramon, Godzilla, Crayon Shin-chan and Ultraman.
Another mishap story:
S’porean student gets pregnant playing university’s Freshmen Orientation Camp games
Hugh Jackman visits Singapore, helps locals forget about their miserable lives
The Wolverine actor helped spread some of his healing touch acquired from his character.
By Nyi Nyi
Hollywood superstar, Hugh Jackman, along with his famous brand name co-stars, arrived in Singapore this week to promote their new movie, X Men: Days of Future Past.
Jackman’s arrival provided a welcome respite from the dreadful time Singaporeans had been having in coping with the rising cost of food, stagnant wages and sky high property prices.
The Wolverine star went so far as to go to a local Ya Kun toast joint to spread some cheer.
A Ya Kun toast employee, who took a photo with Jackman, gushed about how handsome Wolverine was and claimed that the photo could be used to justify her earning $6 an hour, in an otherwise thankless job.
Jia Loh Tee, the employee, said: “$6 is really not enough to support my family, but when we’re eating instant noodles for lunch and dinner. Now this photo will help make things better.”
Mei Zhuo Gong, an unemployed man, was also grateful that Jackman visited other parts of Singapore.
He said, with tears of gratitude running down his cheeks: “I probably couldn’t afford the tickets for the movie, especially not the weekend prices. But now that I’ve seen him in person, I can just imagine him acting… What a great man.”
Jackman and his star-studded case are slated to leave Singapore after the promotional campaign for their new movie is done, leaving locals to go back to reality and face the daunting challenges alone.
Alfian Sa’at’s genius take on NDP song
This note is stolen from his Facebook. Because such good shit should be shared, not hoarded.
Alfian Sa’at wrote on Facebook:
“Just saw this year’s NDP theme song video. It’s quite funny.”
And he goes on to dissect it bit by bit:
1) The whole video is shot with pastel palettes beloved of high-end condo ads. There’s genteel lens flares, hazy light through white curtains and panoramic shots of the kinds of views that 1% of Singaporeans enjoy.
2) We see the two singers at the beginning–Olivia Ong and Natanya Tan–with their backs facing each other. Not sure why this estranged posture, but it could be inspired by the Merlion and the baby Merlion–whose backs are also facing each other–at the Merlion Park. Quite nationalistic.
3) We see a couple, just rousing in bed, making eye contact. They’re wearing quite thick clothing (the woman also wears smearproof makeup, because her pillows and sheets are pristine white) and are smothered in a duvet. It is obvious that they sleep with the aircon on. And it’s OK because whatever carbon footprint this wasteful couple leaves behind is offset by the fact that there’s a lot of nature shots (reservoirs, greenery, dewdrops) in the video.
4) We next see a girl, in a reclining chair. She could be Indian, or Malay…or maybe Indian-Muslim…or whatever, the token minority box is checked. Next!
5) The next shot is of a guy, holding a guitar, and penning the lyrics to a song. By the way, the girl in the previous shot was also writing something (poetry, maybe?) in her notebook. Singaporeans are so creative and inspired!
6) We see the couple again, and they’re having a playful pillowfight. Are they not creative? They probably were, the night before, but you can’t show *that* in the video.
7) We next see another token minority–a guy, this time, at a park, with his laptop. He spots something in the distance and closes his laptop. This something is an old Chinese man, who has brought along his pet bird, in its birdcage. The guy asks the old man what he is doing. “Oh, I am teaching my bird to read this information plaque here.” The guy replies “I, on the other hand, am trying to get Wifi connection in this park.” The old man says, “What a strange person you are,” and the guy replies, “You too!” The two lonely eccentrics bond.
8) Poet girl walks across the frame, and in the background, an LRT carriage travels across an elevated track. At the same pace at which she walks. Which should be about right.
9) Wasteful couple decide to ‘see how other people in Singapore live’ and thus visit a wet market.
10) If you thought the park scene was bizarre, this next scene raises the bar. We see the Singapore skyline at night, and then we realise it’s an image in a crystal ball. Two young women are looking at it. They’re in some kind of a library/study, and they’ve switched on lamps and lit candles. What kind of occult shenanigans is going on? Who are these wiccans with rebonded hair? What ill-will do they harbour towards the Central Business District? Or is this just the future of HDTV?
11) One of the wiccan sisters advances towards the window. She parts the curtains, and it’s actually daylight outside. And yet they’ve switched on the lamps in their room. The wasteful couple have met their match.
12) Wiccan sister spots the guitar troubadour–who is now wearing a jacket–and they exchange smiles. In actual fact she is laying a hex on him: “may you meet other inappropriately-attired people in the course of your day.”
13) The wasteful couple, still in slum-tourism mode, are fascinated by the sight of someone making teh tarik.
14) Poet girl is apparently in possession of some strong magnet (possibly her bangle) which causes LRT carriages to trail her wherever she goes.
15) She stumbles upon a group of senior citizens practising taiji. She smiles meaningfully, and is inspired to write her next poem. Entitled “Movement Moves Me”, it will be about the juxtaposition of the modern and traditional, about the path of trains and the flow of qi, which she will submit to an anthology of poems about the MRT.
16) The hex materialises. Troubadour guy (in jacket) meets laptop guy (with inner singlet) meets poet girl (with scarf around her neck). Together, they march in defiance of the climate and a song whose lyrics include the line ‘warm sunny days’.
17) They are joined by other people, walking along a row of shophouses. Where are they all heading? As it turns out, to Changi Airport. To receive their friends and relatives. That’s quite a long walk! And not one of them breaks a sweat. Lee Kuan Yew’s dream of air-conditioned underwear has come true. The future is here.
18) An orgy of hugging ensues. Laptop guy, who hugs another guy, makes sure that it’s more of a hybrid handshake-hug, because they’re like, bros, not homos.
19) Natanya Tan’s parents turn up. They ask her, “where have you been?” She replies, “Oh, just singing a duet on a precipitous balcony with an aloof stranger who barely acknowledged my presence.” Olivia Ong looks at her with a strained, pursed-lip smile.
20) Olivia sings, “When it feels this right…” and she looks blissful, her head framed against the clouds, the breeze gently teasing her hair. Natanya continues, “You know that it’s…” It’s what? Kotex? Whisper? Carefree? Which might explain why Olivia’s so frosty towards the little girl throughout the song. “Girl, you gotta go through puberty first before you start singing about sanitary pads!” But no, it’s “…love at first light”.” (Alfian Sa’at)
Editor’s note: If Alfian objects to us stealing his note, we’ll take it down, ok?
Miss Singapore Universe 1998 to 2012: 15 years of winners
Here are the best bits. We swear.
Our second most favourite Miss Singapore Universe of all time: Cheryl Tay in 2005
Every year when Singapore sends a representative to the Miss Universe pageant, people would pour scorn on her.
But touch your heart: If any of the girls who took part in the Miss Singapore Universe contest were to walk past you on the street, you can truthfully say you wouldn’t do a double take? And feel a tingling in your loins?
Here at New Nation, we celebrate diversity. And Singapore can be proud of our representatives from the last 15 years.
The fact is: We have been represented by every conceivable ethnic group.
But our top favourite of all time is still Miss Singapore Universe 2006, Carol Cheong. She has the biggest smile.
You shall be the judge. Here are the Miss Singapore Universe title holders from 1998 to 2012.
*Drum roll please*
1. 1998, Alice Lim
Not much is known about her now, except she was 22 when she joined, 5′ 8″ with black eyes.
2. 1999, Cheryl Marie Cordeiro
Cheryl Marie is a Eurasian Singaporean of Chinese (Hakka) and Portuguese descent.
She has a PhD in the field of general linguistics from the University of Gothenburg, after defending her thesis successfully in May 2009. (And you, my friend, are sitting behind the computer screen staring at pics of scantily-clad women. Reality check.)
(o.O) ?!?
You can catch up with her life these days (in Sweden where she resides) in her very well organised blog.
Note: She successfully pursued two separate Masters Degrees when she was dabbling in the Miss Singapore Universe pageant, whilst studying French as a third language. (And you are still sitting behind a computer screen staring at pics of scantily-clad women.)
This is how she looks like now. This pic is stolen from Cheryl’s blog:
3. 2000, Eunice Olsen
Eunice Olsen was appointed as a Nominated Member of Parliament (NMP) in Singapore by President SR Nathan, making her the youngest ever at the age of 27.
She also endorses coffee. And does charity.
4. 2001, Jaime Teo
She makes cupcakes for a living now.
5. 2002, Nuraliza Osman
Nuraliza Osman studied law at the National University of Singapore and in the United States. After graduation, Osman worked as a civil litigator for Rajah and Tann.
She is of Chinese, Dutch-Portuguese, Indian and Malay descent (o.O) ?!?.
Bitcoins: Currency for the drug lords
No central bank, no inflation, untraceable. Are they for real?
By Fang Shihan
Illegal services available online – payable by bitcoin only.
BITCOINS are every anarchist’s fantasy. Digital, untraceable, lacking a central authority to screw things up and oh, accepted as payment for the Amazon.coms of the illicit drug industry. So you can get high and stick it to the man at the same time with low probability of getting caught. And that’s why New Nation Man loves it.
But more than just an oddity, Bitcoins have the potential to be a viable currency. Here’s why.
All currencies in the world have value only by government decree. Like bitcoins which are essentially just lines of code, paper money has no intrinsic value and are viable as a medium of exchange only when a large entity (the treasury for example) gives it credibility by ensuring the currency will never collapse.
It may be difficult to visualize how codes and coins can be utilized in the same manner – but it can be. Each dollar coin for example, comes with a unique serial number and can only be used for one transaction before it ‘belongs’ to someone else. LIkewise, each bitcoin transaction must be verified and therefore witnessed by 6 other bitcoin users before it gets approved, ensuring that each bitcoin can only be used once.
And since bitcoins have no central administration, it uses a central database spread over a peer-to-peer network to track transactions. Supply is limited to 21 million bitcoins. There are 6.5 million in existence now and three-quarters of all bitcoins would be mined by 2017. Bitcoins are also divisible down to 8 decimal places, ensuring finer granularity [1] of the currency.
Technicalities aside, the question is: who guarantees the viability of the bitcoin?
To quote one blogger, “bitcoin value is entirely virtual—a Bitcoin is only worth what another person thinks its worth”.
Doesn’t exactly instill tons of credibility to any would-be Bitcoin adopter. But Bitcoin bears are missing the one key comparative advantage: Bitcoins are untraceable and thus, a potential safe haven for the gangs, drug lords and the like.
There is already in fact an online store selling drugs from weed to acid pills. All payable by bitcoins and delivered to your doorstep with minimum purchase. Another bitcoin-friendly site offers assassination services.
Unfortunately, it takes more than a just a little technical expertise to get to the sites at the moment. The fun stuff is accessible only via the anonymising network TOR, which took this author a few hours to figure out.
But the potential’s still there. Drugs are recession proof – depressed, jobless people turn to drugs for relief while the nouveau riche in the emerging markets have more purchasing power for lifestyle drugs – and if traded with bitcoins, could provide some serious credibility for the longevity of the system.
Drugs, pornography, assassination services, prostitution and the like will forever exist. With constant demand comes a constant supply of supporting economies. Who’s to say bitcoins could truly replace the greenback in the illicit industries?
Think about it. If a heroin trader from Afghanistan wanted to replenish his cocaine stock from Peru, he’d have to buy a stash using cash now. But Bitcoins make business transactions so much easier and (more emphasis here) untraceable.
Obviously the bitcoin system comes with its flaws as well.
Bitcoins were much easier to mine previously, requiring no more than extra processing power from one’s CPU. But mining rigs (consisting of some hardcore computing power) are now required to generate the same amount of currency. As supply is fixed, bitcoins can only grow in smaller denominations as they’re adopted by more people, creating an unfair advantage for hoarders.
For example, geeks who donated their CPUs early in the mining game would have enjoyed the price spike from $0.40/btc to $17/btc. Hoard it until the supply maxes out and and they would enjoy an even higher purchasing power at $34/btc for instance.
Next, assuming the system is easily replicable, there’s no stopping the Chinese or even Russians from creating their equivalent of the bitcoin system. With US authorities clamping down on illicit activities in the bitcoin system, it’s only a matter of time before the very people backing up the bitcoin credibility (drug lords) would move to a similar space with friendlier governments.
The bitcoin system exists on a contradictory duality of principals – being absolutely anonymous yet absolutely transparent. So while it would be feasible for smalltime gangs to launder their money via bitcoins, “attempting major illicit transactions with Bitcoin”, in the words of Bitcoin developer Jeff Garzik, “is pretty damned dumb”. An account transferring a million dollars in bitcoins would stick out even worse than a bruised vein. In any case each account has a $1000/day withdrawal limit, hardly the cashflow volume of drug lords.
Lastly, security is an issue: a surprise hack of the largest bitcoin exchange, Mt. Gox is only the beginning of what could turn into a burgeoning security problem. Bitcoins are largely used within the more security-conscious geek community. But if Bitcoins truly become more attractive to the casual investor, or casual entrepreneur, security breaches could occur faster than a script kiddie typing “db_autopwn”. A security breach of Mt. Gox, or even the bitcoin system itself is more akin to a hijacking of the currency printing factory than a measly bank robbery.
So can the bitcoin ever replace the greenback?
Probably not, but it could potentially be a very good alternative currency for transactions deemed less-than-legal in mainstream society.
Let’s face it: drugs, pornography, assassination services, prostitution and the like will forever exist. With constant demand comes a constant supply of supporting economies. Who’s to say bitcoins could truly replace the greenback in the illicit industries? And having said that, what’s stopping the casual forex investor from riding on the illicit wave and buying some bitcoins?
This post was written by:
Belmont Lay – who has written 230 posts on New Nation.
Contact the author