As told to Renée Stahlmann

"Being a hearing-impaired stay-home mum has not always been easy. This is true since we live in such an aural society, where sounds and voices play a big part in our day-to-day activities. So I'm not only presented with the same kinds of challenges as my typical-hearing peers, I also have to deal with the fact that I am not able to participate in any kinds of verbal communication.

My three-year-old daughter, Man Ting, is a normal and bubbly girl, just like other kids her age. She goes to a Chinese-speaking pre-nursery near my home in Punggol, as I felt that it was important she learnt the Chinese language and interact with other children at the same time.

People often ask me if I was born with a hearing impairment. But the fact is I was only discovered to be deaf around the age of four, when my parents realized that I was too quiet and showed no response during lessons at my school. My father then brought me for a health development check-up routine and it was then that they said I was deaf. Since the discovery, I was sent to the Singapore School for the Deaf to do my nursery before joining the mainstream Mountbatten Primary School, now defunct.

Since both my husband and my daughter are able to communicate by sign language with me, it is easier to communicate with them at home. In the outside world, however, I am always armed with a pen and paper, so that others can write down what they want to say and vice versa.

So if I had to attend a parent-teacher meeting at Man Ting's school, for example, I would prepare my questions and write them down on a piece of paper. If my husband is there, they would usually tell him what it is they want to say and my husband will then rely the information to me through sign.

As with any other person, I would also suffer from depression at times, especially when I feel like I can't keep up with breastfeeding demands, household chores, Man Ting's tantrums. Since I have no maid and no extended family, I would sometimes feel alone at home. But the good thing is that I’ve never felt sad about my hearing impairment. In the beginning, it was a little bit tough for Man Ting to sign her needs to me, but now that she's more fluent in the language, she is more able to communicate with me, and therefore get her needs met a lot faster.

I am never bored as I make sure that I always occupy myself with things to do. I bring Man Ting to the library fortnightly and I surf a lot of parenting sites for information and interesting reads. I also sit with my daughter and visit some online learning websites. I surf the Internet to get ideas for her art and craft activities, which Man Ting loves to use for her scrapbooks.

Some of the challenges that I face when communicating with people through gestures is that at often times miscommunication occurs. There are also some dialect-speaking people who don’t understand English, so they just talk to me less.

Although people still stare at us whenever Man Ting and I sign to each other, we are unfazed by them. I communicate a lot more with my family. I sign story books to her and would sometimes try to voice the stories. If my pronunciation is not right, my husband will always try to correct it for Man Ting's sake.

I get quite a lot of support from the Kids of Deaf Adults (KODA) group, which is a support group provided by the Singapore Association for the Deaf. They organise activities which allow deaf parents and their children to mingle with each other and form a network of support. Man Ting always looks forward to the HSBC storytelling session, where the hearing adults act out stories to the children.

With the little free time that I have, I enjoy hosting gatherings at my place, where I invite a few friends and their children. Basically it is a time where both the adults and the kids can interact with each other. I would also offer breastfeeding support to the mothers that need it.

Life has its ups and downs. In my case, I've had to make adjustments because of my predicament. But I've never felt depressed about my condition. All that matters to me is that I have a loving and caring family and that I am still able to nurture them as best as possible. I know that I am extremely lucky in my unexpected situation."

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