Mother-of-two, Denise Phua was once a high-flying, corporate businesswoman. But when her son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), she gave up her successful career in a heartbeat. In hindsight, she says that she doesn't feel as if she's missed out or lost out on anything by giving up her job. "In fact, the lives of my husband and I have been enriched and grown more meaningful," she admits.

The painful truth
When at two years of age her son, Jun Yi, was still not speaking, Denise and her husband felt that something was wrong. "He was developmentally very different from sister, who was very sociable. He was a loner, who tended to play alone, oblivious of his cousins," recalls Denise.

They then sought professional help, but were told by several paediatricians that nothing was wrong. So when Jun Yi was two-and-a-half, Denise insisted on seeing a specialist. "I was then referred to Anita Russell, an Australian communication therapist with a strong interest in autism," she says. "Anita then diagnosed that Jun Yi had speech delay and autistic tendencies."

It was at the Autism Resource Centre (ARC) in 1999 that the team pronounced their diagnosis that their son was on the ASD. Although it was no surprise, Denise admits that "it was a painful confirmation."

Finding help in Singapore
Denise feels that when parents refuse to get over the the fact that their children have special needs; they are actually hindering their children's development. "The first lesson I learnt in parenting a child with special needs is the simplest and the most important. It is to proactively decide to get over the grief and get down to action," she says.

It was only when Denise and her husband started looking for help for Jun Yi that they found the lack of specialists in Singapore. "It was rare to find autism consultants who could help integrate the efforts of professionals of different disciplines," she recalls. "It was Anita Russell who helped me work out the confusing maze."

Having read profusely and surfed the Web regularly, Denise found a lot of resources on how to help her son. She was amazed at how many parents around the world have gone down the same road and their documentations of strategies which helped to ease the difficulties have helped her. Denise says, "I think it is important to localise and customise the knowledge to make it applicable to a child living in Singapore. I am forever grateful to the early intervention services that helped me, including Anita Russell, an autism consultant at the ARC, Dr. Lam Chee Meng, cognitive intervention team at the ARC and Jeanette Suen of Hand In Hand OT services."

The boy that changed the family
If it wasn't for Jun Yi, Denise feels that she would still be jet-setting around the corporate world. In fact, at age 11, his sister, Yi Xin, is helping other special needs children with her parents.

"We feel that we have grown a lot because of Jun Yi," says Denise. "We have learnt to treasure little daily victories, like when he just imitated an 'I love you, Mummy' when saying 'good night' one night."

"I have also learnt to be more patient with difficult people, thinking they might have difficulties or special needs too. And most importantly, my husband and I have learnt to live for a life purpose that is beyond us, for our special needs son and for the thousands of other special needs children whom we firmly believe deserve a rightful and dignified place in Singapore," she concludes.

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