The number of children in Singapore who are sexually abused is small. Nevertheless, parents should be informed about the tell-tale signs. Excerpting from the book Living With Sexuality Issues, we list three important findings.

1. "Child abuse in the very young is rare because it is difficult to ascertain and these children may not be able to complain about it. This is more so in sexual abuse, unless there are suggestive physical signs."

2. "Children who are sexually abused react by behaving in several ways:
• In the acute stage (immediately following the abusive incident), the child may develop behavioural and emotional problems, learning difficulties and problems relating to others in school
• The child may have difficulty expressing anger, become irritable and hit out at others uncharacteristically.
• The child may exhibit disturbed behaviours such as bedwetting, soiling and conduct problems in school
• Some children will show deteriorating school results.
Relationships with others may be distorted and some children may be hyper-sexualised."

3. "Children must be taught to protect themselves. Dr Stanton Jones, a psychologist, recommends that we impart the following values to our children:
• Your body is private.
Children must be made aware that no one should be allowed to touch them without their permission. This refers not only to strangers, but also to people they know.
• No secrets.
Every child must know that they should not keep secrets and no one should ask them to keep secrets, either.
• Trust your feelings.
If something which has happened to a child feels wrong, he or she should tell his or her parents. Children must not allow anyone to do things to them which does not feel right."

Living With Sexuality Issues by Dr Daniel Fung, a consultant child psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health’s Child Guidance Clinic, is available for $8.93 at major bookstores. Simply but thoughtfully set out, it is easy to read and should be required reading for all parents. While it is only 64 pages long, the book manages to deal with the many changes that growing children go through, especially in regard to sexuality in the teen years, as well as cover such troubling issues as pornography, sex addiction and sexual disorders.

Grab this month's issue of Family, available now at all major newsstands and bookstores