Text Emilyn Tan

My younger sons love to play with Play Doh. They also love to play with water toys in the tub.

I hate to clean up the mess.

Just the thought of it turns me off – the multicoloured bits of Play Doh on the kitchen floor, shaved off the pretend-pasta machine; the very wet bathroom floor littered with a plastic fish here, a mini-watering can there, bubble bath everywhere.

But if I were to heed the experts' advice, I would leave things be and let them indulge in their messy play, for the “chaos and clutter that follow every preschooler are actually positive signs of development,” says Stanley Greenspan, renowned Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Behavioural Sciences and Pediatrics at George Washington University Medical Center in the US and bestselling author of books like The Growth of Mind.

Whatever the (mis)adventures, "your child is exercising his boundless spontaneity, his drive towards self-expression, and his natural desire to explore the world from every possible angle.”

He assures exasperated parents who are mopping up afterward that there is order at the end of the disorderly trail. Research has shown that, after age 3, children are ready to learn to tidy up after themselves. Their logical thinking skills are beginning to develop, and the sooner they begin to learn how to sequence thoughts and actions to accomplish a goal, the easier the clean-up will be.

"You wouldn’t want your child to be creative but utterly disorganized, anymore than you’d want him to methodical but without imagination,” Greenspan has said, writing for Parents magazine. “That’s why you shouldn’t be upset by a preschooler’s mess. If he didn’t make them, he wouldn’t have the chance to learn by unmaking them.”

To help your preschooler learn the concept of tidying up after their mess, Greenspans suggests these steps:

Spare a space for messy play
This can be a corner of the kitchen or the balcony. Whether big or small, the place should be an anxiety-free area where your child can make a mess without worrying about the consequences.

Keep ‘mess-making’ and ‘clean-ups’ as separate activities
Instead of fussing about all the glue that’s been smeared onto the table, get the kids to talk about what they’re making and why.

When it's time to move on, give notice by saying something like, “This has been fun, but we have to stop soon. We can do this again another day." Bringing the session of play to a pleasant conclusion makes it easier to get them involved in the packing up.

Make clean-up a problem-solving session
Take the time to figure out what needs to be done, as well as who’s going to do what. Let your children suggest how the cleaning up might be made easier, and they’ll surprise you by suggesting the crayons should go into the shoebox and the scissors into the drawer for safety. By encouraging this line of thinking, you are nurturing early organisational abilities.

Be realistic
Keeping in mind that cleaning up takes patience, set age-appropriate goals that are sensible and work towards the long term. Even just putting away the colour pencils is a good start.

Grab this month's issue of Family, available now at all major newsstands and bookstores