True Story: I had to choose between my babies' lives and mine

As told to Louise Evans 

Imagine finding out you’re pregnant with twins, then discovering you also have a cancerous tumour growing in your cervix. This nightmare turned into reality for Michelle. 

"When I discovered I was pregnant with my second baby, I was ecstatic. But my joy was overshadowed when I started to bleed heavily just six weeks into the pregnancy. I’d not been feeling great, but put it down to being in my first trimester. With every bleed, though, I grew more and more apprehensive about the tiny miracle developing inside me. 

At eight weeks, I had an early scan to keep a check on my pregnancy and, despite the constant bleeds, three other scans each revealed a small blob on the screen. Then, at 14 weeks, my gynae revealed not one tiny blob, but two - twins! We were elated. 

But four weeks later, I started suffering severe abdominal pains and, while doubled over on the toilet, I felt something drop out of me. I panicked, thinking it was my babies. But when I looked down, it was a mass of blood. 

I called my sister in a panic, and could still feel this ‘thing’ coming out of me. We managed to wrap a sample of it in some tissue and rushed to the hospital, where a scan showed two babies happily bouncing about in my tummy. I was overcome with relief, but still beside myself - what had dropped out of me? 

Four days later, I was told that tests on the sample had found that the mass was cancerous. All I could think about was my babies. I was absolutely devastated. 

A scan revealed there was a large tumour growing in my cervix and it was developing rapidly. I had two options: to continue with my pregnancy and delay treatment, putting all three of our lives at risk, or to terminate the pregnancy and have a hysterectomy there and then, which would almost certainly rid me of the cancer but also stop me from ever adding to my family. 

It was an impossible decision to make and I wrote a long list of questions for the specialist. I also asked to have a scan to see my babies. I didn’t know if I was saying goodbye or not. 

We found out I was expecting identical girls. I begged the consultants for a way to monitor me and the twins, but they stressed that I was risking my life if I carried on with the pregnancy. I thought about how my little boy Jack and my husband Scott would cope without me, but if I terminated the pregnancy, I would’ve felt like a murderer and I just couldn’t do it. 

After two weeks of deliberation, my consultant came up with a plan - for me to have chemotherapy up to 36 weeks of pregnancy. Despite not knowing what effect this might have on my babies, I agreed - they could have been born with no hair or disfigured but I wanted them to have a chance at life - it was really the only option. 

I started fortnightly chemo sessions at 21 weeks. I was petrified it would kill my babies. After each treatment, the twins would be sleepy and I wouldn’t feel them kick for at least a day, which always worried me. But they made up for it in between, which felt amazing. 

I remained defiant that the cancer wasn’t going to ruin my last-ever pregnancy. Cuddles from Jack and constant support from my amazing family and friends helped me through. As my hair fell out, I told Jack there was a bug in my tummy that had eaten it. 

Then, at 33 weeks, after a day of labour pains, I went to the hospital for a Caesarean - I couldn’t deliver naturally because the tumour was in the way. The moment I had been waiting for came when I heard their first cry - it was the most beautiful sound in the world. My babies had made it! 

The girls stayed in ICU and I remained in hospital for eight days to recover from the Caesarean. After seven weeks, they had made brilliant progress and were able to come home. Tests showed that the chemo hadn’t affected them at all. I couldn’t have been happier. 

Meanwhile, a month after giving birth, I had to return to the hospital for a radical hysterectomy - and that’s when it hit me that I had cancer. The pregnancy had kept me going before, but now that my family was complete, the hysterectomy didn’t bother me in the slightest - I just wanted the cancer out! The tumour had shrunk slightly and it was removed completely, along with my lymph nodes. 

After the operation, I only needed quarterly check-ups to make sure the cancer was gone. It was difficult coping with two newborns plus Jack, as I was so weak. My sister gave up work to help me, but I found it hard watching other people look after my babies - I wanted to do everything for them. It also upset me that I couldn’t breastfeed because of the chemo, but at least I was alive for my children. 

Now, a year later, I’m in remission and feel on top of the world. I truly believe Harriet and Alice were born to save me, and every time I take a breath of fresh air and see my gorgeous children playing together, I feel like the luckiest mum alive.”
 
Michelle Stepney, 35, from Cheam, Surrey, in the UK, is married to Scott, 36, and mum to Alice and Harriet, 1, and Jack, 5.

ABOUT CERVICAL CANCER Cervical cancer forms in tissues of the cervix - which connects the uterus and vagina. It is usually a slow-growing cancer that may not have symptoms, but can be found with regular Pap smear tests (a procedure in which cells are scraped from the cervix and looked at under a microscope).  For more information, visit the Singapore Cancer Society website or the US National Cancer Institute website

If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg 

- Mother & Baby
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