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5 Simple Rules to Disciplining Your Stepchildren
Here's how you too can become a great stepparent
By Rosalind Yeow
Managing children is similar to handling people in the workplace, except that the responsibility is greater as their future hangs in balance.
Even for stepchildren, I have found that the time to mould them is now!
Here's how you, too, can be a good stepparent:
BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR ROLE
Be clear of your role as the earthly parent. There will be times the stepchild will challenge the stepparent, "You are not my mother/father! You don't have the right to… ". Tell the child and yourself that you are the one now married to his/her father/mother and you share equal responsibility in parenting him/her.
BE FIRM
Mean what you say. If you say you are going to withdraw a certain privilege if the child refuses to cooperate, do it!
Many parenting books emphasise the importance of setting boundaries for children, whether toddler or teen, as a way of ensuring they grow up with confidence.
Conversely, never say things you don't mean or threaten them with actions you will not carry out. If you will not throw the child out of the house, do not say so.
A firm, consistent parent with the best interests of the child at heart will, at some point in time, win the respect and trust of his/her stepchildren.
This will go a long way toward enriching your long-term relationship with the child — to his or her benefit.
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
During those difficult moments, stay calm and remain strong to take control of the situation.
Do not be pushed to tears (if you can help it) as you will only show the child how he/she can so easily crush you to take upper hand. Keep the tears behind closed doors.
SYNCHRONISE YOUR ACTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE
It is important that both husband and wife discuss and agree on the disciplinary action to be taken.
More importantly, the natural parent needs to stand by the stepparent in the children’s presence. Disagreements should only be discussed privately.
TALK AND PLAY WITH THEM
Communication is key in all relationships.
Spending time with your children can simply mean talking to them about things other than school work. Through talking, you will get to know them better.
Talking is especially important after punishment has been meted out and everyone involved has cooled down.
Explain why the action had to be taken. Through this, the children are given insights into your intentions and will eventually come to realise that you sincerely care for them.
- Mother & Baby
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