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| Parenting Tools & Tips
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Food Fighters
The tale of a mom, a fussy eater and the dietitian. Did the fussy eater become less fussy? Read on to find out.
By Christina Ching and Kate Crofts
Her faddy feeder is driving mum-of-two Carol Tan to despair. Mother & Baby asks dietitian Rehana A Wahid to help the distressed mother resolve her toddler’s food issues.
Mix chopped banana into cereal or blend vegetables into pasta sauces. Double bluff him by leaving a few chunky veg in the sauce which he may pick out while consuming the rest!
When he refuses to eat, don’t force-feed or offer substitutes, but wait till the next meal. Always remember that a healthy child will not “starve to death” through stubborn food refusal. He will definitely eat when he’s hungry.
Sometimes, the simplest way to deal with food refusal is to serve the family the same food. This is a great opportunity for your toddler to copy adults at the table when he sees everyone eating.
As tots prefer grazing all day to eating three big meals, it helps to have lots of healthy snacks around the house.
“Remember to enjoy the process of preparing food and feeding as part of nurturing your little one these are precious moments of parenting!” |
Getting your tot to eat healthily, or even eat at all, can be a real battle at times ― just ask Carol Tan, 31, mum to Aryan, 3 weeks, and Bryan, 2½. Bryan is a fussy eater, often refusing to touch what’s put in front of him.
Family mealtimes have become increasingly stressful for the stay-at-home mum and her civil servant husband Frederick, 33.
The couple is at their wits’ end after trying “everything”. So, can our nutrition expert help this frazzled mum turn things around?
THE EXPERT
Rehana A Wahid, a clinical dietitian at Gleneagles Hospital, says, “Many toddlers go through a phase when they refuse food as they become more assertive. It’s also common to become fearful of new or unfamiliar foods, or to go off foods they usually like. It can make mealtimes stressful and it’s difficult to hide your worry and frustration.
“Remember to be patient as it may take many meals before a child is willing to try new foods. You should also continuously introduce him to various types of food as you’ll never know when he’ll start to develop a liking to a particular food. Each baby progresses at differing rates, so never compare your toddler with other children, or you may face unnecessary anxiety. With patience, persistence and consistency, this phase should pass.”
THE ACTION PLAN
Rehana offers tips on dealing with a fussy eater:
1 KEEP A FOOD DIARY
Write down everything your child eats and drinks for a few days it may be more than you realise.
2 INTRODUCE ROUTINE
Children need to eat regularly, so stick to set meal and snack times. Also, create an environment where he is more settled, for instance, by giving him his own chair and utensils.
3. MAXIMISE THE NUTRITIONAL CONTENT OF WHAT HE EATS
Mix chopped banana into cereal or blend vegetables into pasta sauces. Double bluff him by leaving a few chunky veg in the sauce, which he may pick out while consuming the rest!
4 OFFER A LIMITED CHOICE
Children are often more willing to eat something they’ve chosen themselves. But don’t offer more than two options. Offering too many choices of food at one time provides toddlers with a “buffet-style” variety all at one go. They may be confused as they may not know what they like. Offering two options is excellent, as it’s either one or the other. Ensure, however, that the necessary nutrients are present in any food choices given to tots.
5 STAY CALM
When he refuses to eat, calmly clear the uneaten food away without any fuss. Otherwise, it can become an attention grabber. Most foods can be safely kept in the fridge and offered again later. And don’t force-feed or offer substitutes, but wait till the next meal. Always remember that a healthy child will not “starve to death” through stubborn food refusal. If he refuses to eat, he’s simply not hungry at that moment and does not need food then. When he’s hungry, he’ll definitely eat.
6 GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT
Give lots of praise every time your child touches, smells or tastes his food, and he’ll be more likely to do it again next time. Stickers are a good way to reward children when they eat well and try new foods.
7 GET HIM INVOLVED
Children are more likely to eat food that they’ve helped prepare. Let your tot mix, stir, spread, and shop for his meals. This is an excellent way to increase his knowledge about food, and he’d be willing to try new ones as he becomes more familiar with them. He’ll also feel a sense of ownership, knowing that he was involved in the preparation. Talking about a new food before it’s cooked also increases his interest.
8 BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL
Sometimes, the simplest way to deal with food refusal is to serve the family the same food. This is a great opportunity for your toddler to copy adults at the table when he sees everyone eating. Parents should not express any dislike of foods. If your tot sees that you’re enjoying good healthy food, he’ll be more open to trying it too. It also cuts down on waste because you don’t have to prepare separate meals. While eating together at the table, engage him in fun conversation about anything other than the food!
CAROL'S DIARY
I weaned Bryan on my own purees and he ate well. But once he hit 2, he began refusing food. He likes peanut butter sandwiches, tau sar pao (steamed red bean bun), banana, pasta, fish porridge, yoghurt and anything sweet!
We often have tantrums and tears at mealtimes, and I’ll end up offering alternatives, which I know is wrong but I just want him to eat. I worry constantly and feel inadequate as a mum, especially when I’m with friends whose children just tuck in. And it doesn’t help that Bryan is small for his age.
WEEK ONE
DAY ONE
Bryan started the challenge on a good note eating all his cereal and banana for breakfast. We met a friend for lunch and her son tucked into a bowl of fishball kway teow, but I played it safe with a bowl of fish porridge. I asked Bryan to try some but he was defiant, as usual. He was tired by dinner-time and refused to even touch the pasta I made for the family. I ended up making him a peanut butter sandwich, although Rehana advises against offering an alternative. Bryan eventually ate the sandwich and then had a cup of milk. I know I have to be tougher, but it’s not that easy.
DAY TWO
At nursery today, Bryan had fried rice and didn’t pick out the veg in it. He also had an apple, which he refuses to eat at home. I felt elated he’d eaten so well, but at the same time, I was frustrated he doesn’t do the same at home.
DAY THREE
Bryan was violently sick in the night, so eating has been the last thing on his mind today.
DAY FOUR
Bryan is still off-colour although he ate half his usual portion of cereal and bananas this morning. He had two mouthfuls of chicken and vegetables with rice for lunch it’s really frustrating. He then became tearful and pushed his food away. We sat down for a family dinner after his Daddy got home from work. I’d made shepherd’s pie but he only ate a few mouthfuls. I didn’t make a fuss and just concentrated on my own meal. He then had a tau sar pao and wanted more.
DAY FIVE
Bryan helped prepare his snack today, which Rehana encourages. Now he seems better, I need to make it part of our routine. We sat down to eat the fruit salad together, but he wouldn’t even lick or taste it. I’m really starting to wonder whether things will ever improve. I gave him a peanut butter sandwich today ― he only licked the peanut butter! But he did eat half his spaghetti for dinner, and since I’d added pureed broccoli, carrots and tomatoes in the sauce, it felt really good knowing he’d eaten something so nutritious.
DAY SIX
I tried giving Bryan a new snack today ― yoghurt covered raisins. He sucked off the yoghurt and spat out the raisins! But at least he put them in his mouth. He had fish porridge for lunch ― I’ve been shocked by how often he has the same food since keeping the diary. He had a tau sar pao after nursery class and again, he only ate the red bean paste, leaving the bun untouched!
WEEK TWO
We had a much better week, it was a real breakthrough. Breakfast is now a good meal and Bryan even asks for more. We have a daily mid-morning snack, which Bryan helps prepare, but he’ll still only eat banana. But I’ll keep trying! We made pasta and cream sauce together, but he wouldn’t even try it. I did make a beef stew though, pureed half the veg and left the other half lumpy – he picked out the lumps and ate most of the rest. So he was fooled! Both Frederick and I have focused on praise, and now, when I’ve finished my meal, Bryan says, “Well done, Mummy!”
WEEK THREE
My sister and her children came for lunch. I made bee hoon with mince meat and veg, not expecting Bryan to touch it, but he ate a huge plate! One day, he made a fuss when offered tofu and braised duck with rice, but he eventually finished his portion. And he’s even started to ask for his dinner, which is practically unheard of! I feel really encouraged. |
CAROL'S VERDICT
“I’m delighted how far we’ve come in just three weeks. I’ve learnt not to worry unduly if he skips a meal since I know he will not starve. As a result, I’m much more relaxed and I’m sure that’s had a positive impact on Bryan’s behaviour at mealtimes.
Giving him an incentive ― like stickers and lots of praise ― has helped too, as has involving him in preparing his meals and eating together as a family whenever we can. Rehana’s advice has been invaluable! At least, I no longer think I’m the only mum with a fussy eater on my hands.”
THE EXPERT'S VERDICT
“That’s a job well done - Carol’s hard work and relentless patience have paid off! She has come a long way in dealing with her difficult tot. Bryan has managed to enjoy his family mealtimes, rather than making the dinner table a battleground. It’s certainly less stressful to look at a toddler’s diet through the week rather than in a day, as it provides a good overview on his nutritional intake.
As tots prefer grazing all day to eating three big meals, it helps to have lots of healthy snacks around the house. It’s great that Carol tried the veggie deception technique - it works well with most tots as they may not be adventurous when it comes to food, and it’s soothing for mums to know that at the end of the day, your child’s had a balanced meal. Finally, remember to enjoy the process of preparing food and feeding as part of nurturing your little one - these are precious moments of parenting!”
If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg
- Mother & Baby
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