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| Healthy Behaviour
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Beg, Borrow or Steal
What to do when my son comes home with things that don't belong to him
Q What should I do when my son comes home from preschool with things that don’t belong to him?
A Under the age of 6, most children are self-centred, so they have difficulty understanding the concept of private property. There are many reasons why young children take things that don’t belong to them:
• To make themselves feel better, just as some adults buy things to make themselves feel better.
• Because it’s something they have always wanted.
• They like having something that is special to someone else, or want to be like everyone else.
As most preschoolers don’t know that taking things that belong to others is wrong, don’t punish them. Instead, use this opportunity to start teaching your children about ownership and that it is wrong to take things that belong to others without asking first. At this age, such behaviour isn’t really serious, though it needs to be stopped. You can:
• Teach ownership Explain that it is wrong to take something others’ belongings. Use examples like, “How would you feel if someone wanted your favourite stuffed animal and just decides to take it?” Explain how to borrow books from the library, point out things in the home that belong to different people, or explain what gifts are.
• Teach your children how to ask for things that they want.
• Model appropriate behaviour Set a good example for your children, by asking before you borrow anything, and by being open and honest.
• Develop a close, open relationship with children Make every effort to communicate effectively with your children about your values, such as not taking things that belong to others.
• Praise and reward honest behaviour Always praise your children for being honest.
Finally, talk about the behaviour that upsets you, but let your child know that you still love him.
This question is answered by Preman Komala Devi, Principal Curriculum Specialist, NTUC Childcare Cooperative Ltd
If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg
- Mother & Baby
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