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| Healthy Behaviour
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Crow's Encounter
My friend keeps boasting about her child's progress. How do I tell her that it's annoying?
Q My friend always compares her child’s progress to mine, and boasts how advanced hers is. It’s really getting on my nerves - what should I do?
A The god Jupiter offered a prize to the beast who produced the most beautiful offspring. A monkey came along with her baby in her arms - a hairless, flat-nosed little fright. When the gods saw it, they all burst into peals of laughter. But the monkey hugged her little one, saying, “Jupiter may give the prize to whomsoever he likes. But I shall always think my baby the most beautiful of them all.” Like Aesop’s fable, every mother thinks her child is beautiful and wise. But it’s terribly annoying if someone makes your child look bad. Here’s what you can do:
• Honesty is the best policy Before it ruins your friendship, tell your friend that you are proud of your child’s milestones, no matter how long it takes him/her to reach them. Add that bringing up children is not a competition, and it would be great to share the experience together as friends.
• Don’t worry, all children are different Whenever your friend compares your children, remind yourself that your child will develop when he is ready, as long as he is happy and loved. I’m sure you would much rather be a happy mummy who savours every part of your child’s journey, than a pushy mummy who is always looking ahead to the next stage. Do know that development rates differ for every child and that they all catch up with each other in the end.
• We all do it, so ignore it It’s human nature to compare, so cut your friend some slack ? you are also doing a great job with your kid. She may be a fabulous friend overall and since we all have personality flaws, your children are not worth ruining your friendship over.
• Be friends again, not just mums Re-establish your relationship without the children. Get your husbands to look after the little ones while you enjoy gossip over lunch, go shopping, or have a girl’s night out. It won’t just do you both good, it will remind you why you have been friends for so long and why you choose to always be friends.
If all things fail, let her read this column and tell her that you are glad you both won’t want to do something that will ruin your friendship. Good luck!
This question is answered by Preman Komala Devi, Principal Curriculum Specialist, NTUC Childcare Cooperative Ltd.
If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg
- Mother & Baby
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