What's good for baby is good for you too

You’ve read all the reasons why breastfeeding is good for your baby, but Ellie Hughes believes you might actually fall in love with it, too!

Breastfeeding involves a unique interaction between mother and child and a skin-to-skin closeness bottlefeeding mums have to work hard to replicate.  The hormone oxytocin is released in your brain when your baby starts sucking, generating calmness and a loving connection that helps you tune in to your baby.

Now that my youngest, Raff, is 2, I’m starting to miss my baby. And what I miss most, surprisingly, are our night feeds - just the two of us awake, snuggled in our favourite lying down feeding position (I used to enjoy a 2am breastfeeding treat - a guilt-free bar of chocolate!) 

Okay, so it wasn’t always quite that calm. I never felt convinced Maddie, my first, latched on correctly, and numerous counsellors prodded my boobs and criticised my technique. It took me a long time to decide that if Maddie wasn’t complaining, if she was growing properly and if my nipples weren’t hurting, then her latch was just fine. 

“I’m loving every minute of breastfeeding,” says Louisa Burnett, 26, mum to Sayomi, 3 weeks. “I love the closeness feeding my daughter brings and the look of love that always comes across my husband’s face.” 

For Anna Beh, 36, mum to Louis, 1, and Sophie, 4, it’s all about peace and quiet. “With a new baby and a constant stream of visitors, breastfeeding provided a wonderful excuse to sneak off with my baby.” 

Personally, I loved how my babies rested their little hands on my breast and the way they’d look me right in the eye as they nursed. I couldn’t imagine feeling any closer or loving them any more than in those moments. 

It’s no coincidence that mums enjoy breastfeeding. The hormone oxytocin is released in your brain when your baby starts sucking, generating calmness and a loving connection that helps you tune in to your baby. 

The decision whether to breast- or bottlefeed is usually seen as a personal choice. But it’s an emotional decision, too - breastfeeding involves a unique interaction between mother and child and a skin-to-skin closeness bottlefeeding mums have to work hard to replicate. 

Then there’s the fact that that bouncing, joyful baby is all your own work. “Every time my son was weighed, I felt such a swell of pride knowing that his weight gain was due to my breastmilk,” says Tracy Song, mum to Joseph, 7 months, and Jacob, 3. Not surprisingly, Tracy, like many breastfeeding mums, expects to feel very emotional when she weans Joseph. 

“Knowing when to stop breastfeeding is not always easy,” says obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Yehudi Gordon. “Most mothers feel the loss of a very special intimacy. It’s usual to go through feelings of guilt and grieving, which can be particularly intense if your breasts continue to produce milk.” 

“I was desperate to get out of my grubby nursing bras when I returned to work,” says Sarah Davids, who decided to return to a full-time job when her daughter was 8 months. But I had to follow a strict schedule of dropping one feed a week. It felt very forced, rather than something Amelia or I wanted,” she says. 

Dr Gordon puts it all in perspective, “As you adjust to the end of breastfeeding, particularly if you find it difficult, remind yourself you have given your baby the best start in life.”

Mums Like You Mother & Baby mums share their breastfeeding experiences.  Class Act “I loved breastfeeding from the beginning, but I was lucky. I went to a brilliant antenatal class which gave us advice on what to do and what to expect. I was shown the correct positioning, so I felt confident about doing it alone.” Susan Bosco, 36, a civil servant, weaned her children, Shane, 2, and Shanon, 4, at 14 months.  Supporting Role “Support from family members is critical. I almost gave up breastfeeding my baby in the initial weeks because my mother-in-law insisted that formula milk is better, and pointed out that Averie was not chubby enough because I did not have enough milk for her. Thankfully, I have the strong support of my husband Victor, otherwise I might have given up under all the pressure. Seeing my baby thrive, I know I've made the right decision.” Serena Chan, 37, a marketing manager, plans to express her milk for Averie, 9 weeks, when she returns to work.  Will And Grace “I've had the most agonising mastitis while breastfeeding all my children. I carried on the first time and got fluey, shaky and had a high temperature. My GP diagnosed mastitis and gave me antibiotics. As soon as I stopped the medication, it came back and I gave up. With my second baby, I gave up after two weeks because I got mastitis again and it was too painful to deal with. But with Tamsyn, I was more determined. When the mastitis came back, I expressed my milk and encouraged her to feed from the sore side. We got through it and I fed her for 10 months. I did the same with Bernard. I'm so glad I didn't give up ? I think everyone can breastfeed if they're determined enough.” Lin Zi Wei, 37, is a stay-at-home mum to Bernard, 1, Tamsyn, 4, Melanie, 8, and Tristan, 11.  Bond Ambition “Breastfeeding is easy if you get it right. It's the most wonderful bonding experience to look down at your baby and know he's getting all he needs from you.” Julie Ang, 35, a legal adviser, breastfed her children, Mark, 20 months, Marie, 4, and Mike, 7, for more than 18 months.   Group Effort “When Anita was born, I found breastfeeding incredibly painful. I didn't know how to position her correctly and it felt as though there were razors cutting through my nipples. Anita kept crying because she wasn't getting enough milk. I decided to bottlefed her, but after a week, she looked so forlorn, so I started breastfeeding again. It was painful, and I was on the verge of giving up again when I went to a breastfeeding support group. They were brilliant, showing me how to position her correctly. Now I love breastfeeding, and so does Anita. It's fast, convenient, and she's thriving on my milk. It's so rewarding. We're connected in a way we wouldn't be if she were bottlefed.” Sarah Durai, 27, a marketing executive and mum to Anita, 8 weeks, plans to breastfeed for as long as her baby wishes.  Double Trouble “With my first baby, the challenge was getting the technique right, after that, it was a breeze. With my second, I was more confident and experienced, so there was no problem. But because I was much more exhausted with a toddler to look after as well, my milk supply and quality suffered. I tried to rest and relax more, and managed to breastfeed Amelie till she turned 1.” Yeow Yee May, 33, is a stay-at-home mum to Amelie, 2, and Armand, 4.  Booby Prize “I set out to feed Faisal for six months and I’m proud I’ve made it. It was tough but if you’re determined and have support from loved ones as well as breastfeeding experts, you can get through it. I’ve shared some priceless moments with my baby and as he’s thrived, I know it’s been down to me.” Azizah Rahman, 28, a stay-at-home mum to Faisal, 13 months, breastfed her baby till 6 months.

If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg 

- Mother & Baby
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