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| The Whole 9 Months
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Mama's New Tricks
New tricks you will learn as you become a mama
By Sharon Wright and Paul Chronnell
“When new mums go back to work, they are incredibly efficient with their time.”
No one understands multitasking like a new mum. Before you had a baby, you wouldn’t have thought it possible to change a diaper, find the diaper rash cream, hold a phone conversation and kick the toys into one corner all at the same time.
“Being a mum makes you see things in a more benevolent and forgiving way. Having to drop your perfectionist standards for yourself, you tend to lower them for other people, too.”
The most useful new skill being a mum teaches us is patience. From picking up the dropped rattle for the hundredth time in the game your baby finds hilarious, to keeping your cool over potty training - you learn to go at another person’s pace. |
The minute your baby’s born, you acquire a whole new set of skills. Suddenly you’re a master at everything from disguising baby spit-up in your hair to functioning on three hours’ sleep and washing up with a crying newborn cradled in one arm.
And it’s perfectly normal to have a bit of a panic about where the “old you” has gone, says counselling psychologist Jacqui Marson. “When your life changes so radically, you can see an absolute crumbling of your self image,” she notes. “You need to build it up again by appreciating the fantastic new skills that have come with being a mum.”
So, no matter how much you might feel you’re losing a little bit of “you” to your new Wonder Mum persona, we promise your new skills will come in handy in the rest of your life. Here’s how ...
FAMILY PLANNING
If seeing your baby’s eyes closing for a nap triggers a mental starting pistol, you don’t need telling about time management. Off you go, throwing in the washing, preparing a quick lunch and checking your emails before she wakes up and everything grinds to a halt.
“You get so much done because you have to,” Marson says. “So when new mums go back to work, they are incredibly efficient with their time. Employers recognise that mums make very efficient use of time because they have a new perspective.”
That’s something optician Karen Seah, 32, mum to Heidi, 15 months, and Josie, 4, knows all about. “You have to be one step ahead of yourself the whole time,” she says. “Having to be so organised as a mum made me much more efficient in the office, too.”
MULTITASK MAESTRO
No one understands multitasking like a new mum. Before you had a baby, you wouldn’t have thought it possible to change a diaper, find the diaper rash cream, hold a phone conversation and kick the toys into one corner all at the same time.
“Think of all the things you actually do in a day as a mum and reframe it as a positive thing,” says Marson. “In our ever-developing technological world, it’s important that you can hold more than one thing in your head and do something else with your hand or ear. Mums are honing these skills all the time, which can give them the edge.”
You might also find you’re much better at conflict management among your colleagues after averting baby battles at new mums groups and keeping warring siblings sweet. Allocating tasks to your spouse and roping in help from friends and family does wonders for your delegating ability, too. “These are key skills for both life and work,” says Marson.
MUM'S THE WORD
But you won’t just see the benefits of your new mummy talents if you go back to work. Having a child can have a big impact on your relationship skills as well, says psychotherapist and life coach Gladeana McMahon. “Being a mum makes you see things in a more benevolent and forgiving way,” she explains. “Having to drop your perfectionist standards for yourself, you tend to lower them for other people, too.”
The relationship that can benefit most from this open-mindedness is the one with your own mum, according to Karen Chong, 37, mum to 2-year-old Aiden. “I’m much closer to my mum now,” she says. “When I had Aiden, I was worried about everything. I was responsible for this little person but I didn’t know what I was doing, so I turned to my mum for advice. I’m closer to my mother-in-law, too. I really respect them for raising their families.”
WATCH OUT, WORLD!
Remember when you could watch the news without ending up in tears? Or when you couldn’t really be bothered to recycle? Having a baby changes all that, says McMahon. “You start to think more about the future and the implications for your own children,” she adds.
As a result, many mums discover community-building skills they didn’t have before. “Becoming a mum made me think about where we lived,” says Song Ee Ling, 33, mum to Harriet, 21 months. “I’ve gotten to know my neighbours for the first time. Now, I’m involved in lots of grassroots activities and community projects, including educating my neighbours about the importance of recycling.”
BREATHE EASY
But maybe the most useful new skill being a mum teaches us is patience. From picking up the dropped rattle for the hundredth time in the game your baby finds hilarious, to keeping your cool over potty training ? you learn to go at another person’s pace.
“With a baby, everything takes far longer than you expect,” says Hamidah Abdullah, 27, mum to Aisah, 9 months. “You have to be patient because playing with your baby involves doing very simple games over and over!”
So, the next time you look at your new life, remember - you’re learning a whole new set of skills. You just have to be patient…
On The Other Hand…
New skills that are utterly useless in other parts of your life.
• How to avoid yelping or uttering really rude words when sitting down with episiotomy stitches.
• How to argue with your beloved about the ironing in a whisper, so as not to wake the baby.
• How to eat a muesli bar and flick for a Friends rerun on cable while breastfeeding.
• How to purée a carrot to the perfect consistency for nourishing your baby.
• How to hold your breath until the stinky diaper’s off, balled ’n’ bagged.
• How to get biscuit crumbs off your sofa ? and out of your eyebrows.
• How to make a cuppa last three hours.
• How to unleash your boob from your nursing bra with one hand. |
If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg
- Mother & Baby
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