Make the best of first few weeks with your newborn

Your newborn has slept and slept since she got home, phew! Before you thank your lucky stars you’ve produced a baby who sleeps through from birth, be warned: Most newborns sleep around 15 hours out of every 24. But small tummies need feeding little and often, so your baby will sleep in two- to three-hour snatches, regardless of the time of day… or night. So, be prepared - dreams of life as a mum are the only kind you’ll have, as a full night’s kip is the last thing you’re set to get! 

It helps to know you’re not alone. While it might feel like the rest of the world is asleep when you’re up at 3am, remember that every other new mum in Singapore is probably up, too. Talking to other new-mum friends can help. “During my confinement month, I was up many times in the wee hours of the night. I’d SMS my friend whose baby was born just a few days before mine, and we’d chat as we nursed our babies. It felt comforting just knowing that we were both up when everyone else was deep in sleep,” says Rosalind Ngiam, mum to Ayden, 9 months. 

You can also go online to meet people, so you don’t feel as if you’re all alone - you’ll be surprised how many there are, no matter what time you log on!
It’s also worth introducing a few sleep rules - they may well save your (and your husband’s) sanity. And remember, sleep deprivation doesn’t last forever. Honest! 

MIRROR BABY's NAPS
You must try to sleep when your baby sleeps. Dr Heather Engleman of The Edinburgh Sleep Centre says sleep-deprived mums are as affected in their ability to perform tasks as drink-drivers. “Don’t worry about housework - your mental health is more important,” she says. 

GET OUT AND ABOUT
A daily walk with your baby works wonders - babies sleep longer if exposed to plenty of light and fresh air during the day. A regular walk will also get your blood and feel-good endorphins pumping, and help allay any sense of cabin fever. “When Dan was two weeks old, I felt like I was turning crazy cooped up in the house,” says Melodie Cheong, mum to Dan, 2 months. “But a daily half-hour walk changed everything. Now, if it was a nice day, I’d prepare a sandwich and sit and eat it in the park opposite my flat. It became my sanity-saving ritual.” 

DIET DO'S
You need at least five portions of fruit and veg daily (with plenty of protein and carbs too) to give you the energy to cope with sleepless nights. And make sure those carbs release energy slowly to keep you going for longer - that means filling up on wholemeal bread, brown rice and pasta, not biscuits. 

AND DIET DON'TS
It’s tempting to drink caffeine non-stop. Don’t. Caffeine won’t harm your baby if you’re breastfeeding, but it might make him more irritable and hungry. Instead, relax and refresh yourself with a cup of herbal tea. 

SHARE THE LOAD
The first six weeks aren’t a solo act. Before the birth, discuss the tasks you’ll need your spouse to take on. “I called my husband ‘the diaper man’,” says Cara Koffman. mum to Harriet, 1. “I was breastfeeding, so he did all the diaper changes and baths. That way we each understood when the other was tired.” 

STAY POSITIVE
Sleep deprivation takes its toll physically and psychologically, so focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Once your baby’s a bit bigger, you can start getting him into a routine of sleeping for six hours a night - yes, really! Everything seems a lot worse when you’re tired, but you will survive. 

SELF-STUDY
While all the hype is on the new arrival, don’t forget about yourself, too. 

“Take advantage of the times your baby is resting to put your own feet up. You’ll be better prepared to rise to the challenge of his demands.”
Mother & Baby sleep expert Andrea Grace, a mum of four. 

“Pace yourself. Even though I had an easy delivery, walking to the nearby confectionery to buy some buns five days after the birth left me so exhausted my husband had to come and fetch me in the car.”
Helen Lopez, mum to Isabelle, 12 weeks. 

“If you have an episiotomy, get relief by placing ice packs against the area and sitting on an inflated rubber ring. Bathing in warm water will also relieve discomfort, but avoid perfumed soaps and oils, which can irritate the wound.”
Lesley Regan, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology, and author of Your Pregnancy Week By Week. 

“Breastfeeding makes you incredibly thirsty, so have a drink handy when you’re nursing.”
Rebecca Foo, mum to Caelan, 11 months. 

“Once breastfeeding is established, try expressing once a day so your husband can do the last feed of the evening and let you have an early night.”
Safrina Salim, mum to Taib, 6 months, and Tiara, 2. 

“Walking with your baby every day is a great idea. It’s healthy exercise, you both get lots of fresh air, and getting out of the house will help you avoid developing postnatal depression.”
Caroline Deacon, author of Babycalming.

If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg 

- Mother & Baby
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