Baby girls and baby boys do develop in different ways

By Becky Sheaves
Girl or boy? That’s the first question people ask when they hear you are having a baby. And according to child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, the answer makes a huge difference to your baby’s personality and progress, from the very moment he or she arrives in the delivery room. 

“Gender affects everything - from how well babies make eye contact in the first week of life, to whether they’re easy to potty train at 18 months,” she says. “It’s important that parents are aware of the differences, yet it’s so easily overlooked.” Mother & Baby investigates. 

0 – 6 Months

Girls
From the beginning, baby girls are likely to be more sociable. Dr Spungin says girls will probably smile sooner and more often than boys. “The physical development of their brains means that newborn boys may give much less back in terms of laughter, smiles and holding eye contact,” she says. But nurture as well as nature plays a part, says family therapist Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Boys. “Studies have shown parents cuddle girls far more, even as newborns,” he says. “And they tend to talk less to boy babies.” 

Boys
Males are born bigger. Your baby is likely to be on average 100g heavier if he’s a boy, according to paediatrician Dr Su Laurent. He’ll also gain weight more quickly in the first six months, which is why babies of each sex have different growth charts. There are more boys in the world at birth, she notes. Marginally more are born every year ? instead of 50:50, the ratio is more like 51:49. But this balances out in their 20s because statistically, boys are less likely to get that far (too many testosterone-fuelled accidents in their teens) meaning the proportion reverts to 50:50. Boys aren’t as tough as they look, however. “They need extra help to develop much-needed social skills,” Dr Laurent states. “It helps those neurological connections to grow.” 

Action Point – Boys
Help your baby boy develop communication skills by talking to him, picking him up and letting him gaze into your face. “Skin-to-skin contact relieves stress hormones and will soothe him,” Dr Spungin notes. 

6 - 12 Months

Girls
At around 7 months, girls catch up with boys on the weight charts. Higher oestrogen levels in girls make more neural connections between the left and right sides of their brain. “Girls’ brains are wired for empathy, boys’ for understanding systems,” says Professor Simon Baron-Cohen of Cambridge University. Be aware of how differently ? and often preferentially ? girls are treated. In one study, two groups observed 9-month-old infants (a mix of boys and girls) as they were startled by a jack-in-the-box. Half were told the babies were boys. They saw their reactions as “angry”, while the group that thought the babies were all girls described “fear”. 

Boys
Hearing ability is marginally weaker in around 70 per cent of boys than girls at this age and beyond, Biddulph says. This is a physical difference, but also compounds the lifelong mismatch in communication skills between the sexes and is partly why, later in life, men talk more loudly than women. According to Prof Baron-Cohen, boys’ testosterone levels actually slow down the growth of brain connections, making them more dependent on the left side of their brain for problem solving. “Boys tend to have better Science and Math skills but poorer communication abilities,” Biddulph notes. “This can vividly be seen using brain scanning,” he says. ‘The “lights go on” all over a girl’s brain, while in a boy, they tend to be localised on one side only.” 

Action Point – Girls
Girls’ hearing is more sensitive, even when they are this young. According to Biddulph, dads need to be aware that they may be perceived by girl babies as “shouting”. 

12 – 18 Months

Girls
Many babies say their first words during this period and girls can be speaking in whole sentences as young as 14 to 16 months. When it comes to walking, however, there’s no definite variance between the sexes, with some studies finding girls get going earlier and others saying boys walk first. 

“Most babies are toddling by 18 months, except bottom-shufflers, who may not walk until they’re 2,” Dr Laurent says. 

Boys
“Don’t be alarmed if it takes longer for your boy to start talking,” Dr Laurent says. He may not speak properly until he’s 2. For both genders, expect at least a tuneful babble by 18 months. This is the time to look out for any developmental problems. “Asperger’s syndrome and autism are four times more common in boys than girls,” Dr Laurent states. “It’s not sure why, but believed to be part of boys’ general vulnerability and their difficulties with communication. If you suspect your child is having problems communicating, see your paediatrician for reassurance.” 

Action Point – Boys
Studies show that parents talk more to baby girls, which speeds up their social learning. To get your son talking, tailor your chat just above his current level, Dr Laurent says. “If he can only say one word, say it back to him and add one extra word,” she advises. “You may be saying, “Car”, “Yes, car” for a while, but it’ll be worth it.” 

18 – 24 Months

Girls
Some parents are already thinking about potty-training at this point. “Girls tend to make the neurological connections sooner, which helps them control their bladders and bowels,” Dr Laurent explains. “Many are out of diapers by 2.” By this point, whatever sex, your toddler will be on the move, but girls are often more interested in drawing or playing with small toys, Biddulph notes. “Girls have more finger sensitivity than boys and their fine motor control tends to be better, too.” 

Boys
Boys tend to trail behind girls in potty-training. “Take a relaxed approach as your son may not have the physical maturity,” Dr Laurent advises. He’ll have plenty of testosterone, though, which leads to bursts of energy and reckless behaviour, according to Biddulph. Studies have shown that even without adult intervention, girls often entertain themselves with imaginative toys, whereas boys prefer running about. 

Action Point – Girls
“Your little girl might want to sit and look beautiful,” Dr Laurent says, “But make time for active play, such as ride-on toys, playing in the sand pit and rough-and-tumble or tickling games.”

If you have any comments or practical suggestions, write to us at editor@family.sg 

- Mother & Baby
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